You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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