I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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