Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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