in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
