wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
