you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
