Kiss
Puke
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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