just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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