We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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