Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
false alarm. still invincible.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
