Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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