All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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