yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
