You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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