hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
