I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i love accidental penises.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize