after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
