I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize