I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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