Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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