I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
where are you?
Hypothermia
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
