We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize