Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
