He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
