just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
