This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
