Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I take back everything I said about communal showers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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