My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
