He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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