'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
