he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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