Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
