If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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