i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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