dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
