You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
