You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize