so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
