So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
