Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
