Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
