Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
