Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
