i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
