i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
farters have to be the big spoon...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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