I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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