hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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