I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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