I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
God, I missed his penis.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
