i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
