Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
