The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just cropdusted the office
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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