I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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