So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
