; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
