At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
