I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
love makes seman taste better
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
