Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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