To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
