That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
