He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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