it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
