What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
