we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
