what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
