return my video game
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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