weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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