i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize