Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
